Swati Prakash

Top Tarot Healing and Wiccan Expert

Tag: narcissistic abuse

  • The Secret Ways Narcissistic Abusers and Demonic Energy Vampires Operate

    The Secret Ways Narcissistic Abusers and Demonic Energy Vampires Operate

    Q. How do Narcissistic abusers and demonic Energy Vampires operate?
    Detailed Answer by Rev. Swati Prakash, Wiccan and Ascension Coach, http://www.askswati.com

    ***(Please save it and refer to this article often. No plagiarism please, reproduce on request and give due credit as all of the below is by personal and professional experience and not AI written or sourced from others). ***

    A key issue in Ascension is to leave the Matrix of control. This control is perpetrated by people from around who use various strategies. This is what empaths and kind people as well as Healers and Vegans (yes we are targeted too by ‘compassion’ seekers) need to learn.

    1. Narcissistic abusers and energy vampires chase you or find you as they are hugely after people (energy supply). They are predators from within. They hunt for people.
    2. They choose you for your Aura (your positive energy field which attracts them). Also they are equally jealous or intimidated by it which is why they seek to harm or destroy those who shine.
    3. They usually select people who seem brilliant, intelligent or beautiful (especially women). They even call us Narcissists because they have no idea what a Narcissist is. They falsely think that genuinely talented, attractive, popular and smart or good people are Narcissists. They hate the fame and good renown you have or potentially might gain.
    4. They are often after empaths, soft spoken people or friendly and giving people, vegans, and good witches. Because they know you are non violent and harmless and do not hurt, exploit or abuse others. (They think they can make their way in, use you and get away).
    5. They also choose people more successful than them, more talented or reputed beings including stars, in order to harm and bring down their personality, glory and self confidence.
    6. They actively seek out Tarot readers, Wiccan healers and energy healers who are capable and try to get free help from them in order to drain them. This is why many of us are single and at peace in our own space.
    7. Women are at a greater risk due to religious and cultural domination of men in most societies which makes those men as well as their enabling women relatives especially prone to being abusive, jealous and controlling. Marriage is usually manipulative and a glorified way of control in many cases.
    8. Abusers including demons and energy vampires believe in an external individual entity whom they call God or in multiple deities as if they were real beings and not personifications. They believe especially in a male authority figure as the creator of nature and do not understand how to respect nature as infinite energy that is neither created nor destroyed.
    9. Abusers and controlling people usually lack skills in Reiki healing, real positive magic and energy channeling and depend on other humans or non human animals or religious communities, spiritual circles or communes to energise themselves. If they are taught such skills the energy gets sucked out by them into a vacant cold blackhole as they cannot conduct it through and give it to others or to nature or the planet. They also suck energy out of nature or crystals instead of energising earth with their powers.
    10. They might also have dependencies on drugs or substances, specific foods or alcohol or on sex and emotional supply and cannot control or regulate their own energy well.
    11. They especially get pleasure by controlling others in order to feel powerful or by harming someone financially or in career or personal life by making someone feel less empowered or more answerable to them.
    12. Their aim is to ‘humble you’ or ‘bring your ego down’ if they see you being confident or succeeding or attracting audience, receiving fame or goodwill. This is one of their biggest features. They wish to destroy your power to reach out to the world. They also fear you if you are powerful enough and believe you can harm them by ‘black magic’ even if you are a good witch.
    13. They will try to take your time away gradually towards listening to their personal dramas or giving them personal attention so that you have less time and energy for your goals.
    14. They usually present themselves as positive or good people or pretend to be compatible and mirror you to build trust and a connection. Only strong intuitive and empaths will figure them out quite fast especially when they see the Narcissist taking undue interest in them or ‘love bombing’ them.
    15. They will not take no for an answer especially in friendship, business, projects, or sex. It is their way or the highway. Your wishes are not considered equally. They lack empathy.
    16. They will start saying they love you or start flattery or oversharing pretty early on even if you are not emotionally ready. They will try to make their way into your life. They do not understand boundaries.
    17. No matter how you say no or tell them you didn’t want something or express your autonomy they will override it and try to maintain control overtly or manipulatively (covertly). They test your boundaries regularly.
    18. People around might lack intuition and see them as warm, loving, empathetic snd charming. But intelligent intuitive know something is off. Over time you see they are discriminatory, not really a vegan who is against all exploitation (maybe just plant based for food), have misplaced ideas or notions, and sometimes are transphobes or genderists, sexist, racist, homophobic, or quite toxic. They don’t have ethics right.
    19. They are desperate for love or emotional or sexual energy. They badly need you. Empaths do not need anyone. We are happy to energise ourselves. We focus on our work.
    20. They criticise or argue unnecessarily but if you say anything even indirectly regarding how you feel, they might rebuke you or prevent your self expression. They can also spread negative gossip or false rumours about you to isolate you with ‘flying monkeys’ and enablers in tow. They get very chatty with them.
    21. Not all Narcissists are grandiose or project a sense of domination. Many are vulnerable or pitiable and claim to be trauma affected or broken and abused victims who constantly need others to ‘complete’ them and blame everyone else. Therapy never works on them.
    22. Not all are overt or obviously controlling or abusive. Some are sly or covert and often come across and timid, introverted, quiet, soft spoken or ‘subtly attractive’… and try to gain sympathy or empathy (suck energy) from others in a quiet way.
    23. Covert manipulations include backhanded compliments, cheating, lying, confusing others, triangulation, trying to subtly put you down, rejecting you when you deserve the praise or opportunity, preferring others over you after initially chasing you, playing hot then cold and giving you strange looks or criticism unnecessarily.
    24. Alternating cycles of love or praise followed by abuse or manipulation build a trauma bond because the victim seeks the good times to return periodically and hopes that they can turn it around by positive thinking and patience all of which fails on the narcissist. It’s a total waste of your energy.
    25. They will guilt trip you as a covert tactic to make you give more attention to them if you withdraw affections or choose to be strong or sound in your decisions or decide to keep them at bay.
    26. They will gaslight you to make you feel the issue is with your behaviour. You will end up questioning yourself and try to be even nicer to them.
    27. You will be trained to be their victim and continue being treated that way over time.
    28. If they don’t discard you (or reverse discard you by making you leave out of frustration) they will continue the relationship if they choose you as a permanent supply. If this is so they will probably make it nearly impossible for you to exit the relationship and will keep hoovering you back in again.
    29. They control your wherabouts, your choices and opinions, your wishes, dreams, career, finances, and might need to know what you are into, what you are upto, even in your free time away from them. They watch or keep an eye on you. Spouses, relatives, friends..obsessed with you, often in the guise of protecting you. Narcissistic parents control their adult children and seek the support of even their young kids, expecting kids to please them or be an extension of them. They do not honour boundaries and let you be free. They are intrusive.
    30. They can say they love you and till hurt you or use you at the same time. They do not understand non abusive and mutually respectful and mutually giving behaviour or fairness. Remember Veganism is about fairness and jusice not about compassion necessarily. Wicca too is about the same to not harm others or accept harm to self. The Wiccan Rede states ‘fairly take and fairly give’.
    31. They expect your forgiveness and unconditional love ❤️ and to make you accept their poor behaviour standards and inconsistencies or even their lower intelligence. Remember the part of the Wiccan Rede: ‘With a fool no seasons spend or be counted as their friend’.
    32. Their focus is to make themselves the centre of your life in any way possible or make you feel deeply affected or hurt by them or miss them and make them occupy your mind in any way they can.
    33. The core of the abuser is hollow or empty. They lack a sense of self or connection with the higher self and derive satisfaction from either being overtly rude, manipulative or covertly controlling or condescending.
    34. They also lack true expertise or knowledge but think they know it all or are great or good looking or ’empaths and healers’ when they are not trained or professionally sound (except in negative energy work). They create a false narrative or delusional fantasy or a false self image in their head about how good they are and project it in order to envelop their hollow within.
    35. Some additionally develop psychopathic and sadistic tendencies over time on top of their hollow core and narcissistic delusion to further their pride so they do not change or feel genuine remorse.
    36. They can suddenly exhibit rage or anxiety and controlling behavior yet blame it on something else in order to manipulate you into allowing it.
    37. They do not understand your reactions to their behaviour while making themselves feel entitled to what they do and get from you or get away with.
    38. Their aura gives them away. A falseness in voice or way of speaking or expression. Angry or sarcastic tones. Self important body language. Nervousness or anxious vibes. Fake smiles. Vacant eyes. Stupor or emaciated appearence. Sad look. Always looking for connection or sympathy. Controlling of friends, family and colleagues. Yet getting away with it by making yo be nice to them and accept them against your intuition.
    39. If you allow it the abuse or manipulation will increase in time, or get worse but you will be trained to get used to it making you even more vulnerable to more such abuse including from other predators. Remember they are predators and their species as a soul is dangerous and they will be so… no matter how much you try to protect yourselves.
    40. The only way out is to not just cut off but unplug or remove all energy cords not just communication channels and the prime solution is energetic. The worst ones or demonic beings require banishing or vanquishing spells to keep at bay. Also if you are shielded their negative energy rebounds on them at times while at other times they still break into you. Awareness is the key starting point for all genuinely good witches and empaths or healers in Ascension. Still, be quite mindful that the majority of us being good people are still targets and at risk just as a sheep is in a slaughterhouse. You are never to blame for not being able to protect yourself. Others also need to help you out genuinely and often urgently.

    Seek professional support. Learn energy, intuition and Wiccan healing and magick and prepare for initiation via http://www.askswati.com

    Blessed be!
    Rev. Swati Prakash

    (*)

  • Spot The Early Signs of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

    Spot The Early Signs of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

    Spot The Early Signs of Narcissistic Abuse:

    Article by Swati Prakash http://www.askswati.com (Energy healing and intuitive courses available.)

    1. The person has a roving eye or flirts with multiple people including you but does not commit and stays neutral. Alternatively they can get too close too fast and overshare or expect you to commit very early on so as not to lose you without you having your say. In either case your feelings will be suppressed and not allowed to be let out.
    2. Tries to lead you on to believing they are into you and pull out later and repeat the cycle a few times to keep you guessing. They want you to think you are this big prize you should be after.
    3. Blow hot blow cold attitude. Warm and caring one day and cold and indifferent another day.
    4. Make you confused by playing mind games.
    5. Triangulation: Bringing a third person in whom they express an interest just to make you feel jealous or unwanted.
    6. Manipulative behaviour: Trying to keep you on the side while they date others or hit on others. Also lack ethics and can cheat if they begin dating you.
    7. Try to get you emotionally involved by building a trauma bond: you may cry when they hurt you and then they suddenly treat you well to keep you wanting them and repeat the cycle to give you highs and lows.
    8. Breadcrumbing: They give you small presents or send you a drink or something of less value just to keep to thinking that maybe you will be loved in the future if you remain patient.
    9. They don’t like you looking too beautiful or glamorous except for them so that you don’t attract anyone else.
    10. They use you to boost their ego by showing you off and by flirting with you in front of others when you do look good.
    11. They don’t follow their heart or get too emotionally involved as if they are stone cold internally. But might want sex or special attention from you in order to use you.
    12. Act too important and treat you like someone less important. Say certain things to hurt you.
    13. Don’t compliment you or don’t return your compliments well. May also say bad things, insult or be rude to you.
    14. Deliberately choose you so they have someone with a good level of positive energy to hurt and destroy. They target successful or bright personalities.
    15. They lack self esteem and may appear vulnerable if they are covert narcissists.
    16. Their aim is to hurt you..they do not know love or emotional depth in the true sense but are in it to destroy a good soul especially an empath or a healer.
    17. Passive aggressive language to mock you slyly or indirectly.
    18. Always look at their eyes…they will be caught looking away or as if they are hiding something.
    19. Can really choose a vulnerable person to hurt carefully…so they find more about you in order to know your weaknesses. Also they try to know your strengths so that can turn them against you by talking ill of you and calling you a Narcissist by reverse blaming later on once they do abuse you so that you feel guilty for just being good at something or beautiful or intelligent.

    Remember their mission is to break you down. They are not loving or kind beings. It might be better to stay single than to be emotionally involved with a Narcissist. They are everywhere.

  • 20 Ways of Pinpointing an Abuser

    20 Ways of Pinpointing an Abuser

    How to identify a Narcissistic Abuser for your safety:

    As a Wiccan healer who has direct experience in dealing with abuse, harm, and violence in relationship life, I can help you identify negative behaviour and distance yourself from the same.
    An example is identifying narcissistic abusers. Narcissism is a superiority complex that stems from a deep lack of love and compassion.

    1. Remember that humans who are staunch non vegans are usually narcissistic people overall as they lack empathy and compassion for others and think they are superior and entitled, while ‘animals’ are below ‘humans: A separation based on illusion. Those humans who are normal are capable of learning how to respect animals of other species, as well as other humans, equally. Remember that those vegans who only respect non human animal rights, might also at times, be narcissistic or abusive towards humans and can harm humans, but that would be unusual. Sadly some altruistic narcissistic people exist who masquerade around as charitable leaders.

    2. Those who regard other humans as ‘lower’ to them, or less important, and try to harm to hurt others deliberately in interpersonal behaviour are narcissistic. The harm is a real one. A Narcissistic abuser has actually hurt others physically or mentally in significant ways and immorally so. Please don’t judge others as narcissistic just like that, without reason, or out of misunderstanding, as a Narcissist will opine that their victims were narcissistic.

    3. The Narcissist is delusional and usually pretends that others harmed them and brainwashes others into believing in their version which is never factual. Therefore it gets very difficult to pinpoint who the Narcissist is.
    Thankfully there are some significant personality traits that give them away.
    It is their aura, it just feels dark or negative. Even if they dress well or look well turned out, something in them is repulsive or off putting. Use your intuition.

    4. Their eyes give them away…it is the way they look, in insulting, angry, or maleficent ways, either sideways while talking to someone they hate, or narrowing their eyes to indicate their anger or meanness against the victim.

    5. The way their eyes become round, pop out, and they smile in victorious ways when proving their judgemental point to someone and while criticising others. ‘See, I was right’ is what they say animatedly. Their preoccupation is to judge others. Like they have nothing better to do. It’s always about people.

    6. The way they hang out with those who gossip and talk bad about the same people who they hate and the way they talk for hours against these victims. They usually hate good people or others who are normal, happy, beautiful, positive, successful, or trying to do well. They have a jealous mentality and wish that good people lose their health, wealth, fame, goodwill, or happiness, as they lack abundance and success consciousness.

    7. The amount of time they waste being grumpy and angry. Unable to change their mood or behaviour in a timely way. Sometimes for years.They lack a joyful disposition. Their smiles, if any are fake and not from within the heart. Their apology is any is also false and a hoovering mechanism to control you and keep you involved in their repetitive dramas.

    8. Their body language…aggressive movements, pointed finger while speaking, speaking with teeth gritted, upset tone, negativity, saying ‘huh’, walking up and down angrily, way of handling things around them as if they are throwing things, shouting, speaking as of they are scolding or irritable. They lack loving kindness, grace, gratitude, and gentleness.

    9. Their lack of sensitivity to how someone else feels, or what someone else wants to do. They go on doing what they want and lack intuition and empathy.

    10. They way they want to control events and relationships and the way they want others to schedule things as per their timetable, or want people to obey them entirely and not be included in decision making. You are never an equal. They are like the boss or teacher. They are in control and the world must revolve around them.

    11. Strong expectations from others to be ‘perfect’ and doing things a certain way instead of allowing uniqueness, individuality, and personal flaws, or mistakes. They are unusually intolerant of others.

    12. Tantrums and mood swings that can be explosive …and they blame it on others. They say ‘you should not have said anything to me’, ‘you made me hurt you’ or ‘its impossible to have a conversation with you’ or call you names by projecting their traits on to you.

    13. Reverse blaming is a significant aspect of this behaviour. They lack self reflection on their part in the situation. Therefore they make up a false narrative and stick to it. They try to get sympathy from others by acting as if they are being victimized, but refuse to see how they were harming or hurting others.

    14. Heart is not used often. They can be hot headed, rash, and bad mouthed. Pleasantness and genuine loving warmth are not their strongest trait.

    15. Condescending and disrespectful attitude reflecting that ‘they don’t care’, or ‘why should they care’, thereby minimising your worth. They are not thankful for you, for your work, your talents, your support, or your inputs, but expect you praise them for what they do.

    16. Lack of good listening skills. Talking too much and draining energy out of others, even if others seem to not be interested or are tired, sleepy, unwell, etc. They are just not alert to what someone else might feel, need, or want, emotionally or physically. At times they also take away money and your valuables and not just your time. But usually they are emotional and energy vampires who feed off energy of others.

    17. They will have a few friends whom they keep around by pretending to care about them so that they have some flying monkeys or enablers to spread hate with or to seek support from in continuing their behaviour. Some of these people are cunning themselves, while others are vulnerable and easily manipulated.

    18. They can be cheats in romantic relationships. They are never satisfied with one person and don’t display loyalty. They might want sexual relationships with someone else while being married or in a committed relationship. The person they are with is like a puppet or servant.

    19. They train people over time to love them, do things for them, expect bad behaviour from them, get used to their demands, to satisfy their needs, to be there for them. They might even have a generous supply, or a ‘harem’ to feed from.

    20. You will feel so much better when not in their presence. You will realise you were just ‘used’ to them, to having them around due to a trauma bond, and were infact used ‘by’ them. You might have even absorbed or reflected some of their attitudes, traits, or energy.
    You will see for yourself that you will indeed be a better version of yourself on your own, as if a negative energy has left you when you are not with them. A sense of relief and peace of mind.

    I hope this detailed article helped someone.
    For one to one help, tips, coaching, and advise over phone or video calls, alongside the wisdom of Tarot for relationship advise, please contact me via http://www.askswati.com

  • Narcissistic versus Empath Behaviour Explained

    Narcissistic versus Empath Behaviour Explained (Detailed Article by Swati Prakash, http://www.askswati.com)

    All humans have a need to be admired, look good in photos, and to be self loving by prioritising own wellbeing, success, and safety first. This is normal. All humans have a need for healthy self esteem, self respect, healthy body and mind, healthy ego (yes, ego is good if healthy), healthy boundaries, and self worth. All humans crave for emotional satisfaction and personal physical, mental, financial freedom and wellbeing. This is NOT narcissistic behaviour.

    Narcissism is the opposite of these things.

    – Narcissistic people have an inferiority complex or low self esteem as they compare themselves with others and feel ashamed. Therefore they seek domination, power, one sided respect, unnecessary arguments, infighting, sudden conflicts, and regular tensions in order to be in control.

    – They thrive on making others feel worthless. They project out that they are ‘better’ than others by running others down, and get into unhealthy or toxic patterns in relationships and at times get abusive.

    – Often they target those people who are empaths or healers, those who have a bright aura and good potential, as they hate positive energy and want to bring us down and suck our life force away. Those who are talented, well spoken, good looking, or presentable, successful, and honest, often have a few people who are jealous of them and take undue interest in everything they do, or stalk you and your social media, in order to start targeting the victims and collecting information. If you were chosen by a narcissistic abuser it is very systematic. They don’t select everyone as a victim.

    – Narcissists usually lack compassion for others, don’t have kindness, and lack empathy or the capacity to feel for others. It’s very hard for them to show genuine care for others, to respect them, to love anyone, to give anyone priority, to praise, reward in a proper way, to speak as an equal, and to appreciate others.

    – When at fault they often blame the victims and accuse others of doing exactly what in reality they have done to them. It is not uncommon for toxic Narcissists to call their own victims Narcissistic and toxic and they instead play victims and seek sympathy at the right time to get others to justify their unusual behaviour and support them. You can be easily fooled as they might have everyone fooled.

    – They try to slam others down, throw tantrums like small kids, use rude body language or gestures, grit teeth while speaking, point fingers, glare at others, make you guilt trip for no fault of yours, use bad language, show anger, criticize you minutely in a disproportionate way, find faults with everything, get violent at times, and hurt others deliberately. You never know what sets them off and will need to walk on eggshells so as not to trigger them.

    – They also give breadcrumbs at times to pull you back in, or hoover you in, or love bomb you in phases to get you hooked on to the blow hot blow cold, emotional roller coaster in intimate relationships. But the next phase is when the tension builds up and soon they lose control and get upset again for no reason until they explode. The cycle of abuse repeats often with the same victim until the victim wakes up and cuts off from them which angers them.

    – They can be quite manipulative in order to take revenge, cry and fake being vulnerable, discard others who disagree with them, run smear campaigns against other, have minions or a few selected people who they puppet around and control, and treat others like slaves, or as dispensible commodities because they never can appreciate anyone’s true intrinsic worth and freedom.

    – When they are done with you they move on to the next victim by first seeling fresh supply of new minions and targets, and repeating similar tactics.

    A good human being would let everyone shine out and be appreciated. A good human being loves, cares, gives compliments, wants others to be happy, gives gifts, shares credit for work, builds others up, rewards team members, has joyful disposition and a pleasant attitude in general behaviour.

    While humans treat others as worthless commodities or routinely use others in romantic or working relationships for sex, pleasure, jobs, labour, etc., we treat animals of other species as objects in the most horrific ways of exploitation and abuse.

    This is because of a lack of loving and kind hearts, being selfish, and displaying a tendency to be cruel if need be in order to continue your behaviour without the capacity to self reflect and change yourself.

    Narcissism is a very common trait among humans as we have been conditioned to be cold hearted, to obey rules of law or society like robots, or follow commandments of religion and books, instead of using our own heart, intuition, and sensitivity.

    We are trained to be insensitive, tough, struggle, chase goals, work like slaves, focus on things to own, consume or use, rather than to focus on other humans or animals in developing equality based mutually beneficial relationships and on love and kindness, in a system of economy which values struggle, stress, and hard work for money over joy, fun, happiness, and emotional satisfaction as a measure of success.

    While we are Vegan to not abuse and harm other animals, we need to also know that love, kindness, compassion are also worthwhile goals and to go for Ascension instead of staying neutral and stoically focused on justice,  non exploitation and non harming alone as the ultimate end goal. To raise vibrations higher, we must also learn Healing, kindness, power of love, chakra healing meditation, and positive affirmations in order to manifest better realities and live in balance.

    Contact me via http://www.askswati.com for regular training and Ascension support. Annual subscription available for one to one coaching.

  • Recognize These Red Flags Before Dating Someone

    Recognize These Red Flags Before Dating Someone

    Dating, and romantic relationship that you can rely on by Swati Prakash of http://www.askswati.com

    So many of us suffer in relationships as planet earth has been infested by unconsciousness. These are some people I would stay away from. What about you?

    1. Those looking for particular racial orientation or skin type. These are low vibration human beings.

    2. Those looking only and only for particular features, e.g. big blue eyes, blonde, long hair, or stereotyped beliefs (e.g. man always being taller, older, richer, stronger). Again very low vibration level.

    3. Any other kind of discrimination. E.g. ableist, speciesism, homophobia, genderism, gender stereotyping, classism, spiritual discrimination, as all these are signs of an undereducated and immature person.

    4. Those who are hidden liars and cheats with irresponsible behavior.

    5. Those who are Narcissistic. Please learn what it means and spot the red flags early on. There is so much to know about this subject. In a nutshell people who control you emotionally, make you feel they are superior or inferior, play mind games, guilt trip you, or give out hot and cold vibes systematically in order to give you an emotional roller coaster ride or trauma bond. They act abnormally and are dangerous. Sadly a lot of humans fit the bill.

    6. A psychopath. These would be violent abusers, and those who feel nothing for their victims as they lack the moral or emotional capacity. One clear sign is if they refuse to go vegan after full explanation or documentary footage. Huge sign. I have heard of vegans wanting to be open to non vegan partners and it worries me as this is pure hypocrisy and speciesism. You are not a real vegan if you still love a non vegan who refuses to change for animals. If you wouldn’t date a known serial killer or a racist, then why a non vegan who is adamant and unable to change themselves?

    7. Goes without saying that you must never date someone who doesn’t make you feel right, whom you have felt little or no mutual attraction with, no magnetic pull, no orgasms, no beautiful kisses. Could be that one of you are in it just for money or status, or out of sympathy or coercion, or because you were desperate, ageing, needed someone, etc.

    8. If they don’t treat you well and lack generosity, e.g. sweet little gifts, love notes, roses, taking you out sometimes, and if all this is one sided, or only when they need you. It’s a sign of a small hearted and unromantic person.

    9. Those who are in it only for sex. They lack the capability to love with the heart. All they see is an opportunity to use someone for satisfying their carnal instinct with no emotional depth. Sadly while growing up and in adulthood, I noticed many people were to fit this bill. Not my types.

    10. Cheap behavior. Not highly cultured that turns you off, such as the tone of voice, shouting, uncivilized, not well mannered, aggressive, foul language, loose morals, lack of civic sense, and so on.

    11. Those into lower quality cultural norms. E.g. a woman must do all the cooking and cleaning, or look after kids, not allowed to wear certain clothes, looking for parental permission, family income status, discriminatory religious beliefs, social taboos, etc.

    12. Losing sleep, crying, asking about the future constantly, and worrying throughout the day about why someone behaved in a certain way, or whether they love you, can harm your mental and emotional health. This is a sign of distress and incoming trauma. Go for those who relax you and uplift your heart, with energy and a feeling of trust and faith. Try therapy and ask for healing.

    Contact me on http://www.askswati.com for Tarot and spiritual therapy sessions and psychic chakra healing, including one off sessions, and a one year course of therapy.

  • Non Veganism and the Dark Tetrad: Narcissism

    Non Veganism and the Dark Tetrad: Narcissism

    Previously in this series on The Dark Tetrad of Non Veganism we featured Sadism and Sociopathy and the Dark Triad including Villanous Psychopathy. We have heard of Narcissus (a Greek mythological figure who fell in love with own reflection). Narcissism is a relatively common condition with many people spending hours grooming themselves in front of mirror or on social media and talking soleley about themselves, following narcissistic celebrities or wanting to be one like them. Religions are also a big source of Narcissism with humanlike imaginings of God or Goddess figurines based on human pride and vanity. What we do not connect is the link to Non-Veganism which is most popular form of Narcissism and most of us were or still are guilty of the same. The following are some obvious connections this time to Narcissism.

    • Grandiosity of ego and a belief that they are special, is the most typical narcissistic trait. Non vegans truly believe that humans are next to God in status, and all other species are somewhere below par to us while we go to God in heaven.
    • Megalomania may be part of a narcissism where a Narcissist feels invincible and tyrannical. Non vegans find their kinds alone at top of food chain. They may have a fantasy of being very powerful like lions and tigers or even more than them so their fear and dread is upon all ‘lesser beings’…just like terrorists. They believe they are God’s special child who named all animals and things, and whom all angels serve and obey except fallen ones.
    • Narcissistic have highly convoluted or unnatural fantasy of success and power so that everyone loves them and respects them eventually for example being a heavy metal rockstar, or being an actor or multimillionaire. Why would they care about being vegan when most celebs or businessmen do not have to be?
    • Superiority and snobbishness are Narcissist’s main attributes. ‘I am human, they are just dumb animals’, they maintain. Speaking diparagingly against their victims and ridiculing them is easy for Narcissts.
    • Narcissists may also display an inflated self esteem or a kind of ego centricity with a lot of ‘I’, ‘me’ and ‘myself’ talks. For example, ‘I like my meat’, ‘It is my personal choice to kill or hurt or abuse others’, ‘It is me who decides for myself. You do not change me’, ‘Everyone in the world is like me and accepts me, so why should I change?’
    • Narcissists seek total admiration of self and want others to love and like them and non vegans are a large group as compared to vegans. Humans are their only source of comfort and as majority of humans are non vegan they seek their sympathy and appreciation. To them animals mean nothing although animals are the real victims. Their focus is entirely on humans because humans supply them their support system.
    • Narcissists may be arrogant and boastful, for e.g. ‘I kill my own meat’ is a common statement of hunters and trophy killers. Others say proudly, ‘it is high welfare and humane’ when the endorse local farms or butcher shops. Other non vegans boast that they help animals in other ways by taking care of horses in stables as they usually like narcissistic preoccupation such as horse riding, horse racing or collecting rare breed of animals as pets or endorsing zoos as conservation efforts.
    • Non vegans will enjoy vanity even at the expense of other people’s lives, for example they maintain that ‘real fur looks good’ or ‘leather jackets are cool’ and ‘high heel boots are smart’ or they wear mink eyelashes and flutter them a lot. They may pump up their muscles and show off too instead of being a normal person who eats and lives a healthy life for themselves. They consume far too much protein than a normal body needs for human survival although it is not environment friendly or compassionate to eat more and this usually included dairy, meat and eggs for severe narcissists.
    • They go on various trends or fad diets such as paleo, pescatarian, keto, even use the term vegan falsely when going plant based temporarily to show off or for sexual appeal. They pout and behave like celebrities, models or actors at times copying specific screen idols or corporate czars who are glamourous, sexually attractive and popular. They might also sniff drugs to get a high.
    • Some narcissists may be unable to reflect upon and stop their behaviour as they feel it is their choice and identify with it egoically even if it harms or hurts others. This egosyntonic tendency is all about following up only with that behavior that confirms or aligns with their ego. According to them they are ‘non vegan’ so why should they go vegan or step out of comfort zone. They want to keep being what their ego identifies with although vegan and non vegan is not a genetic thing or race that you cannot change and it is super easy to go vegan.
    • Taking credit without adequate reason is Narcissism, for instance stating that ‘I am saving planet by being more eco friendly by wearing wool’, saying they are ‘buying local meat instead of imported fruit and veg’ to reduce carbon, although it is killing someone and a harmful act of immorality but they make it sound highly pompous. They may especially do that in front of camera for example or in public spaces in outreach conversations or in press articles.
    • They prefer to wear a mask of politeness or at times a superficial show of being interested in others that is totally unauthentic and line based on attracting attention, love or likes from others on social media and in daily routine life and with peers. Being authentic and genuinely admitting hurting animals is wrong is not in their nature.
    • Narcissists may be jealous of others if they do good work, and want that everyone listens and likes only them and feel envious of success of others. When they see a vegan doing well or promoting vegan moral values in society they want to attack him or pull him or her down and leave nasty messages in their comments on youtube channels or social media of popular media figures. They also create in-fighting within vegan movement by disparaging good vegans for example, if someone uses the term holocaust or Animal Lives Matter, they label him anti-semitic or racist although they said nothing of that sort and although Vegans do support Black Lives Matter and are against Nazi holocaust too as they detest all violence towards all animals.
    • Narcissists like talking animatedly about themselves and
    • their beliefs. ‘Look at me while I am talking to you’ they would say and go on talking even if they drain your out arguing incessantly over time even if their arguments are bogus which non vegan arguments always are without exception but they just cannot accept that as they lack the humility to listen or learn.
    • ‘Why should I improve myself?’ is their internal motto. Narcissistics hate being criticized or reflecting on their behaviour. They would react because they feel you are showing them down or indicating they are not smart or sensible or as good as you. They are worried of looking stupid or feeling outsmarted in conversations or in their ego being hurt, instead of focusing on the main issue that of horrific and graphic murder of victims. They would react with ‘You are telling me I am a bad person, keep your opinions to yourself.’ Or if they are plant based but against vegan moralisation they ask you to, ‘Stop shaming and blaming people!’
    • Narcissists suck energy totally to themselves as vampires and feed off your attention. They make everything about them. Similarly they feed off their victims dead bodies too as it satisfied them and their ego or sense of vanity.
    • In conversations narcissists are usually disagreeable with others but demand others bend down to them totally. They will prefer to have the last word on their ego trip and unhappy to lose the battle when justifying their egoic need to be right even when entirely in the wrong. We all know that deliberately killing, abusing or hurting someone is wrong and there should be no disagreement on this.
    • You must have heard people claim, ‘Let others eat whatever they want’ as if other animals are commodity or a thing to eat (food) not people. Objectification of others whom they consider unworthy or menial is a narcissist trait. They even claim animals are ‘made for them to eat’ because they are ‘made of meat’. They know that humans and other animals are alike or similar in our protein content and everyday nutritional density but refuse to understand in terms of sensitivity to pain or emotional abuse. They do not see spirits of animals they eat, but only perceive human spirits and their chosen beloved pets.
    • Narcissists have a huge sense of entitlement and state things like ‘animals were given to us’. They are proud to be human as it is about ‘survival of fittest’. No laws or moral values should apply to them in their opinion but vegans should mind ‘their own business’ or ‘get a real job’ because they think abusing others is their entitlement, but noone is entitled to be a vegan activist to support animal victims.
    • Narcissist partners and parents constantly demand respect and making children turn non vegan as soon as they start learning truth from another parent or vegan media. They commonly say, “I am your parent so eat your meat and dairy and eggs etc because I said so.” Although a child is vegan and compassionate they will ruin his kindred soul and spirit which is a tremendous form of abuse of a child. It also ruins their health but matter how much a child pleads that non vegan food is repulsive or disturbing and causes cancer, they ignore child’s voice and control them as they cannot prioritise child’s needs of physical and moral health and self development above their own.
    • Moral disenggagement is a common Narcissism trait. They detach themselves from their actions and say that its only the way you speak, politeness or mental calmness and mental blessing or affirmations that matters even if you cause violence towards animals. They think moral values of ‘non harming’ applies only with regard to humans killing other humans and that ‘love thy neighbour’ is only applicable to human neighbours. Farm animals are in a different box in their mind and they don’t worry about them although they will brake for a cat or dog just to show to others they care about animals.
    • They lie, manipulate and deceive to appear smarter, for example claiming they can feel or sense pain of plants is unrealistic and clearly a narcissistic attitude intended to make vegans admire their ‘false superpowers’.
    • Lack of empathy and failiure to align with moral values is common to all dark tetrad personality types. Narcissists believe, ‘Why should I care if God gives a damn.’
    • Vulnerable Narcissism is a hard-core dangerous attempt at making others feel bad for them as if they are suffering. Suddenly the real victim is not the victim but they are. ‘We are being denied of our rights to eat what we want’. ‘Let us earn an honest living in our animal farming business,’ they claim as if the animals are not the victims of non veganism but non vegans are victims of veganism. According to them everyone should only sympathise with them.
    • Narcissists crave for sympathy at times. Should we focus on the victims being actually killed and raped, or hurting the feelings of non vegans by talking about the crime? Well, according to narcissists feelings of non vegans are most important even more than the real murder, graphic rape and horrible mutilation of dairy cows and pig sows or chicken. For example they might make you feel terrified of even talking about graphic animal abuse for fear of appearing ‘rude’ or too ‘bold’.
    • The Narcissist abuser shames the victim from speaking out loud so as to hide truth and protect their image. The actual victim is made to feel like a bad person who has harmed the narcissist and damaged his frail ego by even saying the truth. They pretend to be really in pain or hurt if you merely say facts of how animals are abused as if children are mentally harmed in broad daylight to see the footage or hear about their crimes, yet they want children to eat animal products.
    • Diverting attention is a common Narcissism tactic. ‘There are a lot of other issues, why animals only? Talk about war or capitalism…’ or ‘Is it environment friendly in perfect sense?’ they enquire. ‘It is protein and B12, poor people cannot afford supplements’ is the Narcissist’s cheap argument.
    • Narcissists point fingers at you. ‘What about your cellphone’, ‘You have brain damage due to B12 deficiency.’ They suddenly become medical experts diagnosing you as mentally damaged and analying your diet if you believe in veganism.
    • They always look for what is in it for their Ego and what is the price. ‘Is it healthier? Convenient? Adds to sexual performance? Makes me look good? Reverses ageing? Reverses climate change?’ Yes! ‘But, will it mean stepping down my ego?’ Yes! That’s why Veganism remains a taboo from a Narcissist’s point of view.
    • Narcissists do not value ethics but only their own ‘quid pro quo’. Sometimes they buy cheaper items of cruelty also as they lack morals.
    • Manipulative behavior and Gaslighting to make you feel something is wrong with you quite condescendingly. For e.g. ‘Jesus will judge you if you are Vegan as you did not follow God who gave you animals as food.’ Or, ‘Your almond and soya cause climate change,’ although its impact is not extensive and also not solely due to Vegans.
    • Shifting blame and calling you narcissistic is also observed, e.g. blaming ‘narcissistic vegans’ who keep ‘raving and rantings about animals are ‘too proud’, ‘believe they are always right’, are rude or condascending, and not compassionate to humans.. and so on. Saying that, ‘You are not being kind to me, therefore it is your fault I am not vegan.’ And, I’m tired of explaining, you are shoving opinions down on me when vegans should not even have to explain that it is wrong to shove anal electrocutor down baby pigs or a knife down the little lamb’s throat.

    Overall a feeling of superiority and arrogance over other animals is a common human social problem and requires us all to self reflect and treat our human focused severely narcissistic and tyrannical disorder. This can be achievable by making our focus the plight of the real victims who are actually hurt and abused severely for no reason instead of inflating and serving the human ego and its intricacies or failings delightfully like Dr. Hannibal Lectern in the movies. Hannibal who eats meat proudly and remains vain and selfish is intent on showing off his intellectual prowess, charisma, clothing styles and verbal eloquence and while he slithers away from being caught, he punishes and judges others instead although he is guilty of eating his victims. After all what is the difference between eating a human and another species of animals? Only your artificial human superiority complex.

  • 16 Signs of Narcisstic Pattern of Abuse – by Melanie Howarth

    16 Signs of Narcisstic Pattern of Abuse – by Melanie Howarth

    Naricisstic abuse is a phenomena that a lot of us are hearing about off late but it has been a fact of life since millenia. In this article Melaine Howarth, reputed tarot expert who counsels individuals over Tarot and Tea (psychic and healing services), gives us a few pointers to help us distance ourselves permanently from narcissistic abusers by recognising these entwined patterns.

    Narcissism is a trait, the term being inspired by the Greek myth of Narcissus who was in love with his own reflection in water. Narcisisstic abuse on the other hand is about narcissists using other people emotionally and manipulatively towards their own self-serving agenda of drawing all sympathy and attention towards themselves.

    Empaths, healers and kind or compassionate people often are highly attractive to Narcissistic Abusers who present themseves as needing the empathy they demand. When you get drawn into their drama, using a variety of tactics, narcisstic Abusers drain their victims out to focus entirely on themselves and their own myriad needs, sometimes in conjunction with other forms of abuse. These tactics are not limited to the following:

    1. Forced Intimacy: Usually at the beginning of a relationship, a person who is a Narcissistic Abuser might want to force themselves upon you, mentally, emotionally and at times using physical intimacy. They might begin the relationship by immediately declaring their affections or love, or expecting you to accept them completely and unconditionally at their sudden, persistent and intimate demands for affection.
    2. Oversharing: They could since the start of the association, share all about their childhood, their previous rejections and emotional hurts, and their life history or family traumas to secure sympathy from you. Be forewarned that if they are complaining about their ex partners or previous interests to you in the beginning, then you might be the next person they will complain about once you begin to move away from them.
    3. Future Faking: Tall promises may be projected by Narcissists to their prospective partners, often convincing you that they will be the ideal person to fulfil your dreams and ambitions, and making you comfortable with an imaginary future where you will be secure and fulfilling all your goals and desires with them.
    4. Triangulation: In case you ever express any loss of confidence in them, they will try to bring in another person, which need may or may not be another romantic interest. For example it could be another member of their family, or a friend, in an attempt to make you feel insecure. They will use this other person to make you feel that you need to vie for their attention or prove your affection, as there is someone else who supports them entirely and you will feel like your are judged.
    5. Managing Down Expectations: Once the relationship is mid-way if you feel that you are losing out on your life goals and plans, and not paying attention to your own needs, they will try to make you feel content with having less of whatever you had initially planned for in your life. They will justify you having to live with them or being part of their life even if it is directly or indirectly harmful to your abundance and best interest.
    6. Shock Tactics: To get more energy and attention from you, especially when you are returning to your senses or trying to move away from them, they will use shock tactics, for example threatening self harm or suicide, or displaying that they are in pain, or showering a lot of false concern. They may also try to gain your respect and gratitude by suddenly declaring something positive so that you gratify them. They will exhibit sudden behaviors that shock you so that you have no idea how to react, and get confused.
    7. Love Bombing: On one hand narcissistic abusers will gratify themselves and make you feel drained, on the other hand they will, in case you try to move away from them, bestow you with flowers, gifts or intimacy when you expect it the least so that you stop waking up from their manipulation and get overwhelmed with their sudden care and concern to yourself, no matter how shortlived.
    8. Plausible Deniablility: Complete denial of all their negative behavior and the possibility that they are at fault is a common factor in narcissistic abuse. These abusers deeply lack empathy towards others and never acknowledge or understand how their behavior affects those who are their victims. They are more likely to blame you instead of accepting their own guilt at any point of time.
    9. Distraction Reaction: Distract, confuse, disorient are the three words that underlie the manipulative urge to control you. The moment you start seeing through them, they suddenly express something that makes you focus on something else entirely so that least attention is given to the important issue of the abuse you are facing, and all attention instead goes to a non-issue that pops up out of nowhere.
    10. Gas Lighting: Telling you that you are crazy, mentally ill, that something is inherently wrong with you, your family members, your child, or another issue that is completely false and yet brought to attention is a tactic used by Narcissist abuser. More often than not, they succeed in gas-lighting you or others by making a convicing propositon based on a false premise so that you feel as if something is actually wrong with you or your supporting family or friends so that you get isolated and shamed.
    11. Guilt Tripping: Making you feel bad about wanting to leave them, making you feel like a terrible person, someone who is not nice to them, lacking ’empathy’ to them, not being supportive, caring or loving enough to them, accusing that you are hurting them, and other forms of strong emotional blackmail is used by narcissistic abusers to keep you from going away.
    12. Confidence Erosion: To reduce your self-importance, narcisstic abusers state things that are negative about you and indicte that you are a ‘loser’, ‘bankrupt’, ‘unsuccessful in life’ and by making you feel worthless by name calling. Your confidence may also be at an all time low simply because your life has indeed been harmed by their overwhelming, all-mighty and omnipresent behavior, they make you as dependent on them as possible and ensure you have no faith left in yourself.
    13. Silent Treatment/ Abandonment: At times when you expose your vulnerabilities, in an attempt to control you, narcissistic abusers will stop talking, show how cold they are, withdraw their symapthy, and leave you to yourself when you may be ill, needing comfort or in pain, or when you express any difficulties with the relationship. It wil feel as if you do not exist at times and your efforts do not matter as you remain unheard.
    14. Victim Mentality: The best defense is offense, seems to be the tactic of Narcissistic Abusers. They will declare to the whole world that they are the victims and you are the one who was actually guity of causing harm to them. They will blame you in every possible way, by showing that you are the abusive partner and even call you a narcissist instead of accepting that you are their victim and they are at fault. They will also declare themselves as mentally depressed, suicidal, in trauma due to your behavior or pretend to be physically hurt by you and complain about your behavior.
    15. Hoovering: Naricssistic Abusers want you to be as trapped as possible and as comfortable and used to their constant presence in your life, so that it is impossible to escape. They will be around you as much as they can if they feel you are moving away and try to monitor your movements.
    16. Control and Control Validation: Not only will Narcissistic Abusers control your psychologically and emotionally using manipulations, lies, melodrama and acting-out, they will also justify their behaviors. For example if they check your emails or intrude upon your social media activities, they may state that they are doing this to protect you, not allowing you to meet others as you are naive and they are keeping you safe from harm. Iterfering in your business or private matters will be justified by saying they are caring, or that you are physically or mentally ill and need their support. As such they will make you feel as controlled, isolated and helpless as possible and get away with it by saying that they are justified in doing so.

    The only way to be safe from the dangers of Narcissistic Abuse is to completely cut off from these individuals, to have no contact whatsoever, and to seek therapy and counselling to make sense of what happened to you. The key to your freedom is to be able to move on without being lured back into fulfilling the endless pit of demands of narcissistic abusers.

     

    Based on inputs from Melanie Howarth.

    melanieMelanie Howarth has been studying and giving Tarot readings for over 30 years and in addition to being a Therapeutic Tarot Practitioner, and a Holistic Health Therapist. https://www.tarotandtea.co.uk